Well this morning I dragged myself into gym, yes gym! But that is a whole other story, exercise and myself have never been intimate friends. Infact my life motto has always been " nothing ventured nothing strained ! " Back to walking into the gym. It is a lovely friendly space full of torturous equipment ! But today I was greeted with a mightily effusive welcome by a trainer ( let's call him Buff for obvious reasons )I hardly knew. My only other interaction with Buff was when I staggered in a week or so after New Years and the delightful manager..let's call him Guy..(well that is his name) said " here he is looking all guilty " to which I replied... " I'm not feeling guilty , what a useless f'n emotion " Buff and Guy thought this was a pithy reply and laughed generously.
Back to my effusive wecome..Buff was all smiles and chatty and enquired about my well being . Taken aback I conveyed that my body was present but my spirit was at home wanting to paint. To my surprise Buff replies " how will I go encouraging the kids later ? " to my obscure nodding he continued " I won't be able to help you this afternoon " Ok at this point of the Twillight Zone I really wished I had gone straight for my double shot latte !
"Buff" said I " I really think, you think I am someone, that I am not ! " a rambling response to be sure... But holy Moses ! I was in a gym, with only one coffee in my system, an unwilling spirit and an overwhelming urge to flee !
Buff sensing my fight or flight response was kicking into to overdrive, quickly explained that he thought I was the coordinator of the local Salvos furniture UpCycling depot ! Immediately I asked myself what does this imposter look like ? Hence we finally make it to my question. Do I want to meet my doppelgänger ???
Will my doppelgänger be a tall , suave , svelte and handsome chap ? Or will he be a tall , skinny, gangly, bespectacled dufus ?
Finally we get to the point. How do we see ourselves ?
Recently my darling sister Janey, while trying to talk me into shaving off my beard, mentioned that I looked like Craig McLachlan in the Doctor Blake Mysteries. My sweet mother Patty, who was only two daiquiris down, replied horrified " You don't really think he is as good looking as Craigh McLachlan do you ? " But then again Mothers are biased !
Patty and I often share a taste in men. Not something every son can say. Patty's long time crush has been Harry from Silent Witness... But seriously with that cute dimple bum chin, who can argue ?
Hello my name is Harry and I have a cute dimple bum chin
Our other BBC crush is the quite edible Rupert Penry Jones . Tall , suave , dapper etc. Mother says my habit of calling him Rupert Bottom Boy is really a tad distasteful but slightly humourous ! But if you have a cute bottom why not be proud of it ?
Ha ha were you expecting a photo of Rupert's bottom ?
Back to Patty , I recall a childhood conversation between Patty and Dad. Mother was complaining that Angie Dickinson was a scrawny stick of a thing. To which Dad replied " I wouldn't mind if you looked a bit more like her ! He was always brave in company ! But poor Patty was little traumatised, and surely that day her self image took a battering.
Well that's my rambling done for the day , and to answer the question . Yes I do want to meet my doppelgänger . If you want me I will be hiding behind a lamppost opposite the Salvos UpCycling centre !!!!
Love Pete
p.s. I think I look like this tall, cute and away with the birdies
p.p.s. Angie want to get the last word in
- Patty girl , who do you think you're calling scrawny ?